Dear Alyx…

Dear Alyx,

I changed jobs recently. No longer working at that terrible, soul-crushing, anger-making company. Working at a much better place now, where people are polite, and civil, and always go out of their way to be professional to one another.

I’ve been wondering if maybe we could have made it work, had I just left that company sooner.

But then I remembered how you always put off any discussion of dates for our wedding.

I remember how you refused to ever consider joining our savings accounts.

I remember how you had a relationship with someone else without my consent.

I remember how you insulted and belittled me, calling me names, and even calling me fat.

I remember how you changed the subject anytime I brought up us ever retiring together.

I remember how you gaslit me, and said I was crazy, saying that I was going to break up with you for no reason, and then used that as justification to treat me poorly.

I remember how you lied to me for a year about looking for a job while you just sat on your ass playing video games.

I remember all the stories you made up about me.

You were never going to be the kind of person to stick around for the long haul. You were never going to stick around when the times got tough.