Kevin McCarthy Talks About His First Time
McCarthy: My first time was in an outhouse outside Bakersfield, California.
Interviewer: Wasn’t it a little cramped?
McCarthy: Not after I kicked the goat out.
Interviewer: I see. You must tell me all about it.
McCarthy: I never really expected to make it with Mom, but then after she showed all the other guys in town such a good time, I figured, “What the hell!”
Interviewer: But your mom? Isn’t that a bit odd?
McCarthy: I don’t think so. Looks don’t mean that much to me in a woman.
Interviewer: Go on.
McCarthy: Well, we were drunk off our God-fearing asses on Campari, ginger ale, and soda—that’s called a Fire and Brimstone—at the time. And Mom looked better than a Baptist whore with a $100 donation.
Interviewer: Campari in the crapper with Mom . . . how interesting. Well, how was it?
McCarthy: The Campari was great, but Mom passed out before I could come.
Interviewer: Did you ever try it again?
McCarthy: Sure . . . lots of times. But not in the outhouse. Between Mom and the shit, the flies were too much to bear.
Interviewer: We meant the Campari.
McCarthy: Oh, yeah, I always get sloshed before I go out to the pulpit. You don’t think I could lay down all that bullshit sober, do you?
Do you have your own thoughts? Let us know in the comments! Or join our community of successful creators on Patreon!
