The Joy Of Creation

I was on a film set where I was directing a short, and by film set, I mean my apartment. For those unaware I have directed 5 to 8 short films for clients in the last 2 years, and they’ve all been shot out of my apartment.

Which, by the way, if somebody had come to me after I broke up my fiancée, and said, “In 2 years, you’ll direct 8 short films, win multiple awards, lived in Paris, and have a talent manager,” I woulda been like, “WTF!?!”

However, I was on set, and my cinematographer mentioned, ‘Yeah man, you’re all independent, and don’t give a fuck about anything.’

I know what he was referring to. As a working filmmaker, I’ve held off on creating work because I was always waiting for permission, in the form of ‘enough money to do it right’. Enough money to pay the crew, pay the cast, enough money to rent a stage and make it with a bankable star, etc. that made me feel emotionally and creatively frustrated, because that money just never materialized. After a while, you can start to internalize that rejection, and it affects how you view yourself, and the validity of your creative work.

So, at a certain point, I said, “Fuck it, I want to do what makes me happy.”

And what makes me happy is being creative.

There is a joy to creation, whether it’s film, writing, collage, or even sound art. We forget that in the whole business of entertainment that we should derive pleasure from it, because there’s enough dehumanizing pain in this world. We deserve to make ourselves happy.

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