THE PARALELLICON – Chapter 2

We’re Not In Kansas Anymore

It was a quiet peaceful field outside the town of Hunter, Kansas.  The amber stalks of grain waxed and wained with the blowing wind. 

Desolate and deserted, the sun lay low in the sky casting an odd glow on an unremarkable evening, except for one unexpected visitor.   

No one noticed the massive, emerald green hot air balloon as it rapidly descended from the sky.  Though no one was there to see it, the balloon’s sole occupant bellowed a hearty scream as it sped toward the ground, crashing into the dirt, and splintering its wicker basket into two.

The balloon’s passenger was thrown through the air, luckily landing in soft soil.  He breathed heavily, trying to slowly get his bearings.

Unfortunately, his leg was caught in the hemp rope that secured the silk balloon, and as the breeze picked up, the balloon began to drag our passenger across the empty field, shouting and cursing all the way.

When the breeze finally stopped, our wayfarer was able to untie his leg and stumble to an upright position.  His moustache and beard now dribbling mud onto his green suit. 

He looked around, not knowing where he was. 

Out of the distance, he could hear a fierce rumbling, almost like a pack of horses, or an angry god.

Out of the distance he could see a dust cloud furiously approaching.

“Oh dearest me,” he said to himself with a thick drawl in his voice, “Out of the vexing frying pan and into the fire.”

The roaring became more thunderous as it approached, when finally, over the hill, he saw a bright red box of a vehicle with HUMMER spelled out on the front.  The car came to a sudden skidding halt just feet away from him.  

The door opened, and out stepped an extremely tall and thin man with high snake-skin boots.  His forehead domed out in a white curve, and his two eyes were deeply sunken in his head. He was clean-shaven, pale, with a look of sternness and asceticism, appearing almost as a professor; his shoulders were hunched and rounded from much studying.  As he walked, he slowly swung from side to side in a curiously reptilian fashion. “It appears that my calculations, simple as they were for myself, were of course, correct.” He said with a soft, precise fashion of speech as he peered out with great curiosity in his puckered eyes.

Our green-suited traveler, looked at him curiously, and said, “I don’t know what kind of horseless carriage that is, but I can tell your origins are far from here.”

“No,” replied snake skin boots with a posh British accent, “but based on my arithmetic, neither are you.”

“Well, to tell you the truth, I’m not really sure where here is.  Now, would you be so kind as to direct me to the nearest outpost where I may hawk my wares?  Perhaps I can provide my services to you, for I am a wise and powerful man.”

 “You happen to be in Hunter, KS.  And what services might your wise and powerfulness provide?”

“Why Behold!  I am Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs, the Great and Terrible!” said the little man, in a trembling voice, with a proud and broad posture.  

“Yes, I’m sure you are, and I am Professor James Moriarty,” said the man sternly and coldly, “but based on your clothes and means of transportation, you should also be aware that you are in the year 2021. June 21st to be precise.”

“Oh… dearest me.  It was a great mistake my ever leaving my Throne Room.  So many years have passed for my little humbug self.”

“I’m intrigued to hear what those years may entail, Mr. Diggs.”

“Well, Mr. Diggs, if you would like to accompany me, I have a proposition I would like to make to you, concerning your unique abilities.”

“What abilities would that be?” he asked sceptically, “I am nothing more than a humbug who has spent most of his life making belief.”

“Oh, I think you’ll find that after returning to this realm, you have quite a bit to offer.”